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How to get your newborn to sleep (tips from a mother of sleepers)
Sleeping babies, they’re like unicorns – elusive mythical creatures that are mentioned in parental folklore but rarely encountered. But unlike unicorns – or mermaid vaginas, or Kanye West’s sense of...
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The retraction: Only one bun now, but happy all the same.
Sorry for the kerfuffle, people, but it seems my uterine capacity is strictly limited to one. So here’s the retraction I flagged earlier, now that gestational sacks B and C decided to pack up shop and...
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So, I’m pregnant with triplets…
Ever wonder what it would be like to told you’re having triplets? Nope? Me fucking neither. It’s like wondering when eminem is going to publish a feminist manifesto, or when Taylor Swift will find true...
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‘Look mum, that dog has a REALLY big doodle!’… and 14 other moments being a...
Being a parent really sucks sometimes. The kind-of suckiness that makes you want to cry uncontrollably over a stiff drink, at 8.15am, but you can’t because: kids. So we laugh. Maniacally. Bite our...
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Motherhood: The milestone I wasn’t expecting…
“I don’t EVEN love you, Mummy!” I’ve been in the dog house with my three-year-old this week, you see. She shouted at me with clenched fists, mouth set in an indignant pout. We’d clearly had a falling...
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Sexual assault and why the culture of disbelief must end
A man cannot be a paedophile when he has a partner his own age. I like to think this statement is a true as “kale smoothies taste extra good when you add chia seeds and turmeric” or “Ryan Gosling is an...
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Guys don’t send you coded messages in song lyrics and other things I’d tell...
Okay, so, I guess I didn’t know EVERYTHING as a teen (just most things, of course). And so as another birthday rolls around this week, I’ve been considering the advice I would’ve given to my teenage...
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Random Aldi woman, you killed my faith in humanity.
Sometimes, I really despise people. They can be such petty jerks. Real A-holes. Not everyone, just the type who don’t make this world a better place, who make your soul a little sadder for having...
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Rape culture, domestic violence, slut shaming: these women are fighting back...
Liora K – The Feminist Photos You are not owed my body. Sexuality is a spectrum. Rape is not a blessing in disguise. Feminine ≠ dumb. Sexual ≠ slut. Strong ≠ bitch. The messages are as raw as the...
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So I became the type of mum who talks about poo…
Photo courtesy of Tina Franklin DG: https://www.flickr.com/photos/97481684@N08/ SHIT! Literally. Somehow, I became one of those mums who talks about it. Sure, we’ve all seen it, accidentally got it on...
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An open letter to friends who are dealing with infertility, miscarriage and...
Karma can be a feckless, half-wit c*** sometimes. Not the righteous entity that scrapes the car of the arsehole who stole your parking space, nor the bringer of good fortune to those who have given...
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Slay those dinner-time demons (with some of my favourite meals for little...
Have trouble feeding your little devil? Want some yummy, nutritious meal options for your bub? Here are some of my favourite recipes for little people! These can be puréed for bubs or served chunky...
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When your mother-in-law wants to breastfeed your baby…
There are some moments in life you never forget – uni graduation, wedding day, the birth of your children, that moment your mother-in-law was holding your firstborn and boldly declared “I wish I could...
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Rainbow Birthday Party
Every day is a rainbow in our household – or so my eldest daughter tells me (my opinion of this varies day-to-day). And so, part two of our birthday season was celebrated in a kaleidoscope of colours....
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The Overshare: My vagina is great – thanks for asking!
For something that has lips, vaginas don’t say an awful much. They’re sort of like camels (without the spitting – or the funky stench). Pink camels…who occasionally suffer from alopecia. They don’t...
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Suffering from a bad case of beige vag? My New Pink Button is here to save...
Does your vagina look like a packed kebab? Does it share the same lifeless, beige hue as your nanna’s dusty curtains? Well, look no further! My New Pink Button (sold at Amazon.com) has just the...
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Minnie Mouse Birthday Party
It’s birthday season in our household, and to kick things off for the year our little one had a Minnie Mouse 1st birthday party. Parties were always a big deal when I was a kid; we’d choose a theme and...
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The sexist return-to-work comment I wasn’t expecting…
Um, the 1950s called and they want their sexist bullshit attitudes back, people. I dunno whether we’re going to file this one under “collective brain snap” or “well-intentioned idiocy” but you’ve got...
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So long stay-at-home suckers, cranky bitch mum is back at work!
I CAN’T WAIT to go back to work. This is not only a true statement of fact, but something I screeched at my children last week. Wait, wait, hold your applause and Mother of the Year nominations until...
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So, I have this weird obsession…
Photo courtesy of http://www.mommyish.com Move over Miley Cyrus, your twerking and enthusiastic support of camel toe evening wear doesn’t quite cut it in the world of weird. You might think you’ve...
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